The second installment in the Ecojustice Avenger series:
Here’s the full script as written, though it may have been modified in performance or in editing:
Characters: Phoebe; Barney; Bruce, choir director; Sarah, choir member; Emma, choir member; John, choir member; Mayo, choir member
Barney: Gee, Phoebe, this was a good idea. Here we are, about to join the UUCPA virtual choir!
Phoebe: This is going to be fun. I’ve never sung in a choir before, but I love singing.
Barney: Plus, we should be safe from Trashman. After all, what could go wrong in a virtual choir rehearsal?
Phoebe: Shh, quiet, here comes Bruce, the choir director.
Bruce: Thanks for coming to virtual choir rehearsal, everyone! I’m going to pass out some new music that we’ll be learning.
[Bruce hands out sheets of music as if to different singers]
[Sarah acts as if receiving a sheet of music from Bruce]
[John acts as if receiving a sheet of music from Bruce]
[Emma acts as if receiving a sheet of music from Bruce]
Barney [acts as if receiving a sheet of music from Bruce]: Oh look, Phoebe, we’re going to be singing one of my favorite pieces of music: Little Rabbit Foo-Foo!
Bruce: Everyone ready? Let’s begin!
Sarah [singing in operatic voice]: Little Rabbit Foo-Foo,
John [singing in operatic voice]: Hopping through the forest,
Phoebe [singing in a normal voice]: Picking up the field mice,
Emma [singing in operatic voice]: And bopping them on the head!
Bruce [recitative]: And along came the Goooood Fairy, and she said….
Francesca [looking at sheet of music]: Guys, wait! What page are we on?
Bruce: That was very good! Sopranos, I’d like to hear a little more on the high notes next week. That’s all for tonight. Thanks for coming, everyone, and please return your music to me.
[Sarah acts as if giving a sheet of music back to Bruce]
[John acts as if giving a sheet of music back to Bruce]
[Emma acts as if giving a sheet of music back to Bruce]
[Bruce is shown overwhelmed by a whole sheaf of papers.]
Bruce: All these singers, throwing their music back at me! I feel like I’m a giant trash receptacle…. Trash. Trash! Suddenly all I can think about is trash!
[Bruce turns into Trashman, starts crumpling up papers]
Bruce: Bwah hah hah hah hah! I turn everything into trash!
Barney: Oh no, it’s Trashman! Stop throwing trash, you dastardly villain! And what have you done with our choir director, Bruce?!
Phoebe: Ecojustice Avenger, where are you? We need you!
[Francesca appears in a green superhero mask and green shirt]
John: Ecojustice Avenger, help! Save us from that dastardly villain, Trashman!
Francesca [straightening up a stack of paper]: NO, Trashman! That is NOT trash! Reduce, reuse or recycle! We are going to REUSE that sheet music!
Bruce: No! Noooo! Don’t make me REUSE things! I’m melting, I’m melting! [he sinks out of sight]
Emma: Trashman is gone! Ecojustice Avenger has saved us again!
Barney: Hmm. Ecojustice Avenger looked a lot like someone I know. But who?
Bruce [back in his regular clothes]: What happened? What’s going on?
Sarah: Bruce, you missed it! Trashman suddenly appeared, and the Ecojustice Avenger showed up and made him reuse his trash, instead of just throwing it out!
Barney: Last week, I thought Trashman was the evil alter ego of my friend Ish. This week, Trashman was someone completely different. I’m so confused!
to find out!