Possum and Rolf and the pledge drive

Rolf and Possum want to donate to their congregation’s pledge drive. Problem is, they don’t have any money. Then Rolf comes up with an idea‚Ķ.

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As usual, full text below the fold.

Possum: Hey Rolf, did you hear about the pledge drive for our congregation?

Rolf: No, what’s that?

Possum: That’s the way we raise money for UUCPA. Everyone in our congregation pledges to give whatever money they can afford during the coming year.

Rolf: I LOVE UUCPA! I want to pledge something!

[Exit Possum]

Rolf: The problem is, I’m a dog. I don’t have any money I can pledge.

[Enter Sharpie]

Rolf: Sharpie, are you giving money to the pledge drive for our congregation?

Sharpie: Yes. I give 10% of my income to charitable causes. With my demanding job at CERN, UUCPA keeps me grounded and centered. So I’m going to give half my charitable giving, or 5% of my income, to our congregation.

[Exit Sharpie]

Rolf: I wish I had a job like Sharpie so I could give lots of money to our congregation.

[Enter Nicky]

Rolf: Nicky, did you hear about the pledge drive?

Nicky: Yes, I did. My UUCPA friends keep me going during COVID. I don’t earn much working at the used bookstore, but I’ll give what I can afford. It’s like sending virtual hugs to all my UUCPA friends!

[Exit Nicky]

Rolf: Nicky’s lucky. She has enough money to give some to UUCPA. But I don’t have any money.

[Enter Possum]

Rolf: Possum, what are YOU going to pledge to our congregation?

Possum: Well, I don’t have any money, but I do want to give something. Helping make videos for UUCPA has been soooo much fun.

Rolf: I have an idea! I can give 10% of my dog biscuits to UUCPA!

Possum: Rolf, I think they need actual money.

Rolf: Wait, I know, I know! I’ll put my paw print on my dog biscuits. Then you can sell the Signed-by-Rolf dog biscuits on pawBay!

Possum: Whoa, great idea!

[Cut to: Possum typing at a laptop]

Rolf: This is so exciting! We’re going to make a ton of money for UUCPA!

[Cut to: Possum looking at the pawBay listing for the signed dog biscuits]

[Enter Sharpie]

Rolf: Sharpie, Sharpie, I’m going to put my paw print on my dog biscuits, and Possum’s going to sell the signed biscuits on pawBay. We’re going to give all the money we make to our congregation!

Sharpie: Um. You know, you don’t have to do that. Everyone in our house who has a job is already giving money to our congregation.

Rolf: But I want to help.

Sharpie: Well, why not? Every little bit counts.

Rolf: “Little bit”? Sharpie, my signed dog biscuits are going to sell for hundreds of dollars each.

Sharpie: Actually, on pawBay that’s entirely possible.

[Screenshot of pawBay listing showing 22 Signed-by-Rolf dog biscuits sold at $100 each]