Back in 2005, I became aware of bed bugs when a friend successfully fought off a bed bug invasion. That same year, I became more aware of bed bugs when I successfully fought off my own mini-invasion, when a few of the little buggers hitch-hiked back with me from the cheap hotel I stayed in at General Assembly. By 2007, when we were living in New Bedford, Mass., a doctor in the city told me that bed bugs were back in that city. More recently, various news media are reporting that as many as one in ten housing units in New York City may be infested with bed bugs, including expensive apartments in the Upper East Side. And it’s not just New York — there’s a nationwide epidemic of bed bugs.

In short, bed bugs have become a major public health concern. I suspect a significant part of the problem is that we no longer know how to deal with bed bugs, because they haven’t been a problem for the past half century. Ministers have often been involved in public health initiatives, and since education plays a big role in improving public health, I thought I’d pass on some of what I’ve learned about bed bugs.

First of all, we need to get over the social stigma involved with having bed bug infestations. These bugs don’t care whether you’re rich or poor, or whether you live in a shack or a palace. What the social stigma has been doing for us is preventing people from talking openly about having bed bugs, which is A Really Bad Thing. If you live in an apartment or condo, believe me, you want to know if one of your neighbors has a bed bug infestation so you can be on the alert, because they can migrate from one unit to another. If one of your co-workers finds bed bugs at work — and yes, bed bugs can infest workplaces from lawyer’s offices to movie theatres to libraries — again, you want to know so you don’t carry bed bugs home with you. Let’s get rid of the social stigma, because if the bed bug pandemic keeps growing at the rate it’s now growing, there’s a good chance that all of us will have to deal with the little buggers sooner or later, and sharing information will help us kill ’em.

Second, remember all those things your mother or your grandmother told you about keeping clean? — many of them will help keep you from bed bugs. So yes, wash your sheets in hot water — bed bugs are killed by very hot water. So yes: don’t ever take used mattresses; when you’re in public places don’t put your purse down on the floor or on a chair; don’t pick up used furniture from the curb — bed bugs are determined little hitchhikers, and can follow you home. So yes, reduce clutter throughout your house — bed bugs like to hide in clutter, and clutter makes it hard to get rid of them if you have an infestation.

Third, learn how to recognize bed bugs, and start paying attention. From all I’ve been reading, and from my own experience, the sooner you recognize that you have an infestation, and the sooner you start working to get rid of them, the less difficulty you will have in getting rid of them.

This is all pretty straight-forward stuff. We already deal with lice and fleas using this kind of approach: sharing information, following basic cleanliness practices, and paying attention. And now take the first step: take the time to learn more about bed bugs now. Look over the material on the EPA Web site to learn how to identify the little buggers, and find out about best practices for controlling them. Check out the Bedbugger blog, which is witty and has generally good information, as well as a forum section where you can share your war stories.

So ends this Public Service Announcement about public health. We will now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

P.S. Please don’t bore me by saying we can end this epidemic by making DDT legal again. Dr. James W. Austin, entomologist and Texas A&M research scientist, said in an interview with Bedbugger: “While screening multiple populations of bed bugs against various insecticides we have found virtually all populations were 100% resistant to DDT. This is not a surprise given that the first observances of DDT resistance [in bed bugs] were noted almost 50 years ago [i.e., c. 1960].”

One of the ways I sometimes amuse myself on Sunday afternoons is to open the “Sunday Styles” section of the New York Times, and turn to the wedding announcements. I look at the photographs of the wedding couples, and try to figure out who officiated at their wedding.

Because it’s the New York Times, most of the officiants are Epsicopalian priests, Conservative Jewish rabbis or cantors, Catholic priests, or Presbyterian ministers — you know, from the religious groups that are a little higher up, socially speaking. These are the boring couples, because I usually can’t figure out who officiated at their weddings; whether an Episcopalian or a Presbyterian or a Jew or a Catholic officiated, the couples all look pretty much the same. Sometimes you get fooled, though: although there aren’t many Lutherans in the New York Times, when they’re there, they look a lot like Presbyterians.

Then sometimes you get couple who was married by a justice of the peace, or by a friend of the couple who got a one-day license from the state, or by someone who picked up an ordination through the Universal Life Church. I can usually separate these couples out from the previous group; this second group might look a little scruffier (as far as any New York Times wedding couple ever looks scruffy), or a little less conventionally good looking, or their photograph might be unconventional (this week, look for the couple on the bicycles — they had a Universal Life minister).

Once in a blue moon you get a couple who had a Unitarian Universalist minister officiate. I always miss them, because I’m just not expecting them. So imagine my astonishment when I look to see who officiated at the wedding of the nice-looking middle-aged couple. I was expecting a justice of the peace (not many middle-aged couples in the Times, plus he has facial hair) — but not only did a Unitarian Universalist minister officiate, it was someone I know.

Congratulations, Michelle, for finally making into the New York Times. Now you have really arrived.