Tag Archives: UU jokes

Bad Unitarian Universalist joke

A Catholic priest, a Wiccan priestess, and a Unitarian Universalist minister went out for a drive together. The UU minister was driving when a rabbit suddenly ran in front of the car. The minister swerved, but too late — the rabbit was squashed flat.

The UU minister stopped the car, and said, “I feel so terrible, I killed that poor rabbit.”

The Catholic priest said, “Don’t worry, I’ll heal the rabbit.” He got out of the car and sprinkled holy water on the rabbit. Nothing happened.

So then the Wiccan priestess said, “Don’t worry, I’ll heal the rabbit.” She got out and cast a spell. Nothing happened.

So then the UU minister grabbed something from the trunk of the car. He came over, rubbed it onto the rabbit, and the bunny immediately got up and ran away. The Catholic priest and the Wiccan priestess said, “That’s amazing! What did you use?”

The UU minister replied, “Rogaine, hare restorer.”

I warned you it was bad.


A stupid Unitarian Universalist joke:

Q: Why didn’t the Unitarian Universalist cross the road?

A: Unitarian Universalists don’t cross anything.

Told you it was a stupid joke.


A Unitarian Universalist joke I hadn’t heard yet…

Rev. David called all the children down to the front of the church to hear a “Children’s Message.” He wanted to talk to the children about planning ahead, and he decided that he would use a squirrel as an example.

“Now children, see if you can guess what I am thinking about,” he began. “It lives in trees and eats nuts. [pause] It is gray and jumps from branch to branch. [pause] It has a long bushy tail and buries nuts in the ground in the fall so it will have something to eat all winter long. [pause] Now raise your hand if you know what I’m thinking of!”

When it became clear that none of the children was going to raise a hand, Rev. David called on one of the older girls who was sitting in front, saying to her, “What do you think I’m talking about?”

The girl replied, “Well, I know you want me to say that you’re thinking about the seven principles, but it sure sounds like you’re describing a squirrel.”

All right, I admit it’s a bad Unitarian Universalist joke….