Q: How do you make a turkey float?
A: One turkey, two scoops of ice cream, and root beer.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken’s day off.
Q: Why did the Unitarian Universalist turkey cross the road?
A: To support the other turkey on its spiritual path.
Q: How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to stuff a turkey?
A: One, but you have to push really hard to get him into the turkey.
I was supposed to have Thanksgiving with my Unitarian Universalist relatives, but I couldn’t take it. I left early. I didn’t mind having to join the Committee for the Implementation of Roasted Foodstuffs. I didn’t mind deciding not to have turkey so we could protest the poor working conditions of poultry workers. But after five hours of sitting in a circle trying to reach consensus on how to make stuffing for the turkey we weren’t going to have, I gave up and went to MacDonalds.
Told you they were stupid jokes.