Coincidence? Or conspiracy?

At last night’s Sacred Harp singing, Hal told us that as of February 19, the International Union for Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) has officially recognized the name “copernicium” for chemical element number 112, an element which was first synthesized in 1996 at the Helmholtz Centre for Heavy Ion Research in Darmstadt, Germany. The song numbered 112 in the 1991 Denson edition of The Scared Harp is a song titled “The Last Words of Copernicus.”

Coincidence, or conspiracy? For those of you who think this is mere coincidence, IUPAC made this new name official on February 19, which was the 537th birthday of Copernicus. Now take 537, divide it by the atomic weight of the synthesized atom of copernicium (Cn-277), and you come up with 1.94. This is extraordinarily close to 1.87, which is the height of Barack Obama in meters. The difference between 1.94 and 1.87 is 0.07, and there is no Sacred Harp song numbered 7! (And the half-life of 277Cn is 0.7 ms!) Clearly, IUPAC is telling us that Barack Obama is not American, but instead is a Polish citizen, like Copernicus! No wonder no one can find Obama’s birth certificate — it was “lost” when the Soviets ruled Poland, because Obama is really a Soviet!

Mere coincidence? Or part of a world-wide conspiracy of scientists and politicians who want to do away with our American Christian democratic lifestyle by cramming global warming and same-sex marriage down our throats? You wimpy liberals probably think this is coincidence, but if this blog disappears in the next few days, you’ll know it’s really a conspiracy!

5 thoughts on “Coincidence? Or conspiracy?

  1. Jean

    So, whatta ya sayin’ big brother? That yer Einstein-like or somethin? Not that I disagree or nuthin’

    O, sorry. I have been grading papers way way way too long. All language has deterioriated.

    Yes, nutty is good. Nut away, o wise one!

  2. Dan

    Jean, I see a typo above. Last sentence of first paragraph should read: “Not that I disagree or nuttin’.”

  3. Jean

    Ahem. No, wrong, dear Brother (notice the upper case “B” … as in Big Brother, not that there’s any conspiracy *there* … oh, no.).

    Out here, we say “nuthin’ ” Our dental fricatives are voiceless. As they should be.

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