Stupid alter ego Dan is still feeling under the weather from his mild bronchitis. But Mr. Crankypants is here to keep this blog up and running. Today’s topic: the weather.
Mr. Crankypants is feeling particularly cranky because of the weather today. The weather here in California wasn’t quite perfect. It only got up to 61 degrees Fahrenheit. And it got too bright and sunny in the middle of the day, so much so that Mr. C. hurriedly had to smear on some more sunscreen. Why, at one point it got warm enough that they left the doors of the Palo Alto church open (not that Mr. C. would ever admit to actually attending church services).
At the same time, Mr. Crankypants notes with glee that a major snowstorm hit the northeastern United States. Dan’s dad measured 10 inches of snow on his deck. Heh, heh. E, a regular reader of this blog who lives in Washington, DC, has posted pictures to her Facebook page showing what looks like 16 inches of snow in her back yard. Heh, heh, heh, heh. In New Bedford, former home of Mr. C., they got 20 inches of snow. Bwah-hah-hah-hah!
Seriously, Mr. Crankypants feels very bad about all the snow to hit the Northeast. He feels bad that so many people had to cancel church services today. He feels bad about all the people who had to shovel all that snow. He feels so bad he thinks he will go out into the back yard and pick an orange or two to make himself feel better. Then he will walk down the block to admire the Bird of Paradise flower that is in full bloom in someone’s front yard.
Update: Mr. Crnakypants notes that E, a yoga instructor, has advice on how to shovel snow properly without hurting yourself. You in the northeast can follow that advice, while Mr. C. is outdoors doing sun salutations on the green grass in the warm California air.
Oh, Mr. Crankypants. We are all so happy when you feel bad. Still, that California weather sounds positively dull. No thanks. I’ll take the wind, the snow, the ice, the sleet — all that — over mild and sunny any day.
Congratulations, Mr. C. You have turned gloating into an art form.
OK. So I don’t like slippery sidewalks. But I do like a third day off in a row (this one paid).
Gloat, gloat, gloat. Nonetheless, I am enjoying Mr. Crankypants’s blog!
Mr. Cranypants – was it you that was really behind that GK rant about UUs, Jews, and Christmas songs? Or do you just have a brother in crank over there on the prairie?
Dear, dear Paul @ 5 — Please give credit to Mr. Crankypants for being less ignorant than G[arrison] K[eillor]!!! After all, where Mr. C. is snarky, smart, and funny, that GK guy is merely bitter, angry, and uniformed.
Snow is good when you are a dog. You can draw things in the snow when you pee. I like to draw cats and then JUMP on them!
I’m sorry, I just don’t believe that Mr. Crankypants does yoga, even to gloat.