I have been an avid supporter of C’thulhu for president (“Why choose a lesser evil when you can have the greatest evil of all?”). However, I admit that I have been bothered by the Elder God Party’s platform — “Bow down in fear, pitiful minion, and prepare to meet your doom” — is just too similar to the platforms of the Democratic Party and Republican Party. I want a third-party candidate who can differentiate him/her/itself from the major party candidates.
I recently learned that a new third-party candidate, Owen W. Indy Roosevelt Jones Jr., has announced that he will be running for president. Owen (he likes to be on a first name basis with people) has formed a new party, the Richmond Canine Party, colloquially known as the “Let’s Go to the Dogs Party.” In an exclusive interview with blogger Writewrite, Owen has revealed his platform:
“Food, water, shots, walks, dog parks, treats, belly rubs, fetch. For everyone.” Then he grinned, really big. “And all dogs get to sleep on the bed.”…
He wagged his tail, picked up his tennis ball, and asked to go out and start the campaign.
Now that’s a candidate I can support.