Monthly Archives: November 2006

More Bible quoting for religious liberals

When someone tells you that the Bible supports family values…

…you could, if you feel exceptionally cranky, say in reply: “Oh, you mean like in Genesis 19.8 when Lot says ‘8 Look, I have two daughters who have not known a man; let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please; only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof’, thus inviting the crazed mob to rape his virgin daughters so that he could protect the angels of the Lord?”…

…and you could go on to quote Jesus in Matthew 10.35-36, when he says that he has come to disrupt and break up families: “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household.”

For, you see, the families that Jesus valued were not the nuclear families from 1950’s TV-land with one dad one mom two kids and a dog. Can you say “radical egalitarianism”?

Late fall

I drove up to Boston today to take part in the demonstration in support of same-sex marriage. The state legislature was meeting in joint session today to consider whether to put same-sex marriage to a state-wide ballot test. Personally, I don’t want same-sex marriage on the ballot. It would be one thing if the ballot question could be fairly and honestly decided, but that wouldn’t happen. Opponents of same-sex marriage from out of the state would swoop in like vultures to try to subvert our state’s decision-making process, spending huge amounts of money. Money is not democracy. When you’re trying to decide whether or not to remove a fundamental right enshrined in your state’s constitution (in this case, the right to marriage for all persons), you don’t want to say that whoever has the most money gets to decide.

So I drove up to participate in the demonstration. I knew there would be no parking in Boston. I knew that the parking lots at the Riverside and Alewife subway stations would be full. So I decided to try a few secret parking places we have discovered in Cambridge, where you can park within a ten-minute’s walk of a subway station for several hours for free. I drove around for forty-five minutes, but our secret parking places were all full today. And by that time, it was just too late — I had to be back in New Bedford in the afternoon — so I gave up.

On the way back home, I stopped in for a quick walk in the Blue Hills Reservation. The footing was bad:– everything was still wet from last night’s rain, and the wet leaves on the rocks made for slippery walking. I had to keep my eyes on the trail pretty much the whole time: the golden-brown of white oak leaves, the rusty red oak leaves, the golden beech leaves, the wet stones all blue-gray with bright green lichen. The sun came out while I was walking, and the warmth made me remove my coat and tie it around my waist. I walked up one of the lesser hills, stopped for a minute, and I could see Mount Wachusett to the west, Mount Mondanock to the northwest, and Boston Harbor to the north east, with dark clouds moving far away to the east. By the time I got back to the car, I had forgotten everything:– my frustration with politics, problems at work, worries about a family member;– all fallen away, leaving nothing behind but the bare bones of life: earth, sky, mountains, downed leaves, putting one foot in front of the other.

One more Bible quote for religious liberals

Mark 12.28-29: “One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, he asked him, “Which commandment is the first of all?” Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one…”

…in other words, Jesus declares that the Shema Yisrael, the most basic of all Jewish prayers, is one of two greatest commandments. (Somehow Christians tend to forget the Jewish origins of this prayer.)

Election Day snippets

Our polling place is in the old New Bedford Hotel. But Carol had not changed her place of residence properly (no, it wasn’t voting fraud or conspiracy, it was Carol’s mistake). So I’m the only one in our house who voted. And then I was the only voter in the polling place at 7:30 p.m. — me, seven poll workers, and one cop. I asked if it was a good turnout in our precinct. The poll workers just shrugged.

Since this blog is my private blog, with no connection to the congregation I serve as minister, I can safely express political opinions here that would give the IRS conniption fits if I said them at church….

I voted to re-elect Ted Kennedy even though his stand against the Cape Wind project is utterly selfish and immoral. Global warming is real, it’s happening, and wind power makes sense here in windy Massachusetts. I cannot imagine why Kennedy, usually so strong on environmental issues, is throwing all of his weight (and probably a fair amount of his money) into ending Cape Wind — unless it’s because he selfishly doesn’t want to see a wind farm from the Kennedy family compound in Hyannis on Cape Cod. Ted, Ted, Ted:– wind farms are the new chic landscape feature; all the rich people like you want to be able to see a wind farm these days.

The thing is, Ted Kennedy is also one of the few senators who can be counted on to stand up to the current administration’s handling of the Iraq war. As a pacifist who takes the teachings of Jesus seriously, I believe all war is bad. But this current war is beyond bad:– in my opinion, it can no longer be justified by the standard Western criteria for just wars; therefore, we are currently engaged in an immoral war. The immorality of Kennedy’s stand on wind power is more than balanced by the morality of his stand against the Iraq war.

For the second time in my life, I got to vote for congressman Barney Frank (the first time was when I was in seminary at Andover Newton, which through the miracles of gerrymandering is in the same congressional district as New Bedford). So what if he’s running unopposed again — I enjoyed voting for Barney Frank.

State senator Mark Montigny and state representative Tony Cabral got my votes, in large part because of their strong stands in favor of same-sex marriage.

I did vote for a Green-Rainbow party candidate — Jill Stein for Scretary of State in Massachusetts. Interstingly, she was endorsed by the New Bedford Standard-Times, who wrote: “We recognize that Jill Stein, the Green-Rainbow Party candidate for Secretary of State, is a long shot to unseat Democratic incumbent William Galvin. But our endorsement of the physician and open government advocate from Lexington and your vote for her will send an important message. The voters need an activist secretary of state who will open up government on Beacon Hill….” I have to admit that my vote was as much a vote against Galvin as it was a vote in support of Stein.

Deval Patrick better win… that’s all I’m going to say about the governor’s race.

Election Day is not my biggest political concern right now. I’m more worried about the constitutional convention here in Massachusetts on Thursday, conveniently scheduled after Election Day so the pols can vote as they please and not suffer any consequences at the polls (grr…). If the opponents of same-sex marriage get fifty votes on Thursday, there will be another constitutional convention in 2008, and at that time the convention could vote to put an anti-same-sex-marriage question on the ballot. I’ll be attending the big rally in support of same sex marriage in front of the State House on Thursday [Link] — I’ll be there in the morning, and I hope to see you there, too.

Bible quoting for religious liberals

When someone throws Leviticus 18.22 at you to “prove” that homosexuality is a sin: “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.”…

…quote Leviticus 19.18 back to them: “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.”…

…and you could go on to give them Mark 12.28-34, in which Jesus refers back to Leviticus 19.18 as one of the two greatest commandments.

Word counts and Sturgeon’s Law

First of all, remember Sturgeon’s Law: 95% of anything is crap. Originally developed for science fiction, the same law applies to all writing.

I write a 2,500 word sermon three out of four weeks, along with a 250 word prayer and perhaps other incidental material for the worship service. I write a 700 word column for the church newsletter every two weeks. I write another 1,500 words of reports each month. So as a minister, I write nearly 11,500 words a month, ten months a year — or 115,000 words a year.

Then for fun and relaxation I write this blog, for which I’ve been averaging about 500 words a day, or about 15,000 words a month. This month I’m participating in National Novel Writing Month, which should result in another 50,000 words (I’m already ahead of schedule — as of today, my official NaNoWriMo word count stands at 12,589). In the last week of June, I wrote stories for the denominational Web site as part of the coverage of the annual denominational meeting, for a total of about 8,500 words. My total recreational output this year will be about 238,000 words.

Add recreational output to professional output, and you get over 350,000 words. Now apply Sturgeon’s Law, which predicts that I will write no more than 17,500 words that aren’t crap.

The problem is, how do I sift through all the crap to find the 17,500 words that aren’t crap?

(244 words, not counting the title or this parenthetical note; of which 12.1 words are worth reading.)

Not to be cynical or anything…

Meadville Lombard Theological School, where I took my M.Div., has announced “sweeping changes.” Less than two years after Meadville Lombard terminated full-time positions of professor of Unitarian Universalist history and professor of ethics, less than a year after the full-time professor of theology was reduced to half-time, Meadville Lombard announces that it will be hiring again:

After reading the declaration, [Meadville Lombard president Lee] Barker acknowledged that the sweeping changes outlined would require at least six months to develop a full plan and begin its implementation. Still, Barker noted that the Board was able to implement the first actions of the plan, including the creation of the position of Provost to head a new student services department that better meets the needs of Meadville’s student population, allowing these students to become the best academically and pastorally.

Barker said the Board’s commitment to this new position is demonstrated by a $50,000 donation from one of the Board members to be used to search for the right candidate for the position of Provost. [Link to the “Declaration”]

Interestingly, Harvard Divinity School has just added a fully-endowed chair in Unitarian Universalist studies. And Andover Newton Theological School has been increasing its academic commitment to Unitarian Universalist students. The new Provost at Meadville Lombard will, no doubt, be able to tell students how to take courses at Harvard and Andover Newton in order to get required coursework in Unitarian Universalist history, ethics, and theology.

Microphone tips for everyone

Anyone who speaks in public should learn how to use a microphone properly — that includes all of us who speak in churches. If you think you will ever speak in public, here is a list of things you might want to learn so you do not annoy the people who will have to listen to you:

  • If you are a scheduled speaker, arrive early and ask to do a sound check with the microphone that you will use.
  • When you do the sound check, learn where the on-off switch is so that you can be sure the mic is on before you speak.
  • When you do the sound check, learn where the on-off switch is so that you don’t accidentally turn it off while you’re speaking.
  • When you do the sound check, learn where the “pop” zone is for the mic you plan to use, so you can avoid it when you speak.
  • When it’s time for you to speak, make sure the mic is on.
  • If you hear the mic cut out while you’re speaking, assume you flipped the switch (and take your hand off the switch!) before you blame the sound system.
  • If you hear yourself causing the mic to “pop”, move your head and mouth so that you are talking beside or over the “pop” zone.
  • Be careful about bumping the mic or hitting it when you turn pages.

Here’s the short version of the same list:

  1. Know where the on-off switch is on the mic and don’t fumble with it.
  2. Don’t cause the mic to “pop”.
  3. Don’t bump the mic.

But what you should really do is spend time practicing and learning how to use a microphone well before you have to speak in public. Here are some suggestions for learning how to use a mic before you have to speak.:

  • Learn the difference between different types of microphones. Wireless mics often require you to speak very close to the mic in order to prevent feedback (a “rock ‘n’ roll” mic), whereas some stationary mics will pick you up from a long way away. If someone hands you a random mic, you need to be able to tell if you’re using a mic that requires you to hold it next to your mouth or one that you can stray away from.
  • Practice using both types of microphone in front of a friendly critic who can let you know how you sound. If possible, record yourself speaking into both types of mic so you know how you sound in each type of mic before you go live.
  • Then take the next step: learn how to hear your voice in the loudspeakers as you speak.
  • While you are practicing with the mics, listen for “pop” sounds when you use plosive consonants like b, d, p, and t. Learn to hear when you make pops come from the loudspeakers, and then learn how to adjust the relationship of the mic to your mouth (basically, talk past the mic instead of directly into the mic) so you don’t cause pops. Note that different mics have different sensitivities to popping.
  • While you are practicing with a rock ‘n’ roll mic, train your hand to hold the mic the exact same distance from your mouth all the time. In other words, don’t ever try to use your microphone hand to make gestures because doing so will make your voice fade up and down in volume as your hand moves towards and away from your mouth.
  • While you are practicing with a rock ‘n’ roll mic, train your hand to hold the mic so you never, never touch the mic switch.
  • While you are practicing with a stationary mic that can pick up your voice from a good distance, practice leaning into the mic and talking in a softer voice. This technique gives your voice an intimate quality, like a radio announcer.
  • While you are practicing with that same stationary mic, try standing back from it and speaking to the back of the room as if there is no mic there to amplify your voice. This technique gives your voice an oratorical quality, like a preacher or a politician.
  • To round out your mic skills, practice using a wireless mic, a handheld mic attached to a wire, a mic on a stand, a clip-on (“lavalier”) mic, and a mic at a lectern or pulpit. The more comfortable you are using different types of microphones, the happier your audiences will be (you can practice, or they can suffer, it’s your choice).

One last point: Practice makes perfect — and you should never stop practicing. I started doing community radio back in 1976, I preach weekly, and yet I’m continually refining my microphone technique. Just three weeks ago I went to the installation of Paul Sprecher as minister of Second Parish in Hingham, Mass., and was just stunned by the excellent mic technique of Rev. Kim Crawford Harvie of Arlington St. Church, Boston, and that of Rev. Jane Rzepka of Church of the Larger Fellowship, Boston. When I got back to New Bedford I tried out their very different techniques myself, and have now added more range to my mic technique.

Since practice makes perfect, go thou and practice.

Update: The last two paragraphs have provoked some strong reactions, expressed in a number of email messages. Let me say that no one should learn microphone technique just for the sake of producing certain vocal effects — microphone technique should serve your message, not the other way around. I learned a great deal from watching Kim and Jane, but I would never, ever use their techniques myself because I could not do so in a genuine way — as a preacher, I do not speak in a conversational tone, and I do not ever speak in an intimate tone (I think a male minister trying to preach in an intimate tone would be very creepy). Yet I still learned a lot from Jane and Kim, especially about using training and muscle memory to keep yourself a certain distance from the mic, and about learning how to listen to yourself in the loudspeakers as you speak. Now go out and practice.

Update: Another rant on microphone use: Link.