{"id":7879,"date":"2010-11-23T21:57:46","date_gmt":"2010-11-24T05:57:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/?p=7879"},"modified":"2010-11-23T21:57:46","modified_gmt":"2010-11-24T05:57:46","slug":"stupid-thanksgiving-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/?p=7879","title":{"rendered":"Stupid Thanksgiving jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Q:<\/em> How do you make a turkey float?<br \/>\n<em>A:<\/em> One turkey, two scoops of ice cream, and root beer.<\/p>\n<p><em>Q:<\/em> Why did the turkey cross the road?<br \/>\n<em>A:<\/em> It was the chicken&#8217;s day off.<\/p>\n<p><em>Q:<\/em> Why did the Unitarian Universalist turkey cross the road?<br \/>\n<em>A:<\/em> To support the other turkey on its spiritual path.<\/p>\n<p><em>Q:<\/em> How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to stuff a turkey?<br \/>\n<em>A:<\/em> One, but you have to push really hard to get him into the turkey.<\/p>\n<p>I was supposed to have Thanksgiving with my Unitarian Universalist relatives, but I couldn&#8217;t take it. I left early. I didn&#8217;t mind having to join the Committee for the Implementation of Roasted Foodstuffs. I didn&#8217;t mind deciding not to have turkey so we could protest the poor working conditions of poultry workers. But after five hours of sitting in a circle trying to reach consensus on how to make stuffing for the turkey we weren&#8217;t going to have, I gave up and went to MacDonalds.<\/p>\n<p><em>Told you they were stupid jokes.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q: How do you make a turkey float? A: One turkey, two scoops of ice cream, and root beer. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: It was the chicken&#8217;s day off. Q: Why did the Unitarian Universalist turkey cross the road? A: To support the other turkey on its spiritual path. Q: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[337],"class_list":["post-7879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-uu-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7879"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7879\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7880,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7879\/revisions\/7880"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}