{"id":7561,"date":"2010-08-31T14:36:46","date_gmt":"2010-08-31T21:36:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/?p=7561"},"modified":"2012-08-23T15:26:15","modified_gmt":"2012-08-23T22:26:15","slug":"here-come-the-assyrians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/?p=7561","title":{"rendered":"Here come the Assyrians"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/?p=7557\">When we last left them<\/a>, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl were about to be burned to death by the evil King Manasseh [cue dramatic music]&#8230;.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Batman somehow gets one hand free,<br \/>\nReaches his utility belt, presses<br \/>\nThe Assyrian army activation device.<br \/>\nSoldiers appear on the streets of Jerusalem,<br \/>\nCommandoes cut Batman and the others free.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s another fighting free-for-all!<br \/>\nCrash! Ka-blam! Manasseh goes down!<\/p>\n<p>Batman swoops over and jumps on Manasseh;<br \/>\nBatgirl and Robin put Bat-manacles on him.<br \/>\n&#8220;Time for Plan B,&#8221; Manasseh says to himself.<br \/>\nThe Assyrians and Batman take Manasseh to Babylon.<br \/>\nManasseh looks up, and calls on Elohim.<br \/>\n&#8220;Elohim,&#8221; he says, &#8220;I repent! I&#8217;ll be good!&#8221;<br \/>\nSo Elohim lets him go back to Jerusalem.<\/p>\n<p>The Assyrians groan, &#8220;Not again! Every time<br \/>\nWe think we&#8217;ve won, the Judeans repent.<br \/>\nThen the guys writing the Bible badmouth us again!&#8221;<br \/>\nBatman just grinned : he&#8217;s got Batgirl and Robin.<br \/>\nManasseh grinned too : the idols are gone;<br \/>\nElohim gets bribed with burnt sacrifices;<br \/>\nAnd Manasseh still sits on the throne of David.<\/p>\n<p><em>2 Chron 33.10-20<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When we last left them, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl were about to be burned to death by the evil King Manasseh [cue dramatic music]&#8230;. Batman somehow gets one hand free, Reaches his utility belt, presses The Assyrian army activation device. Soldiers appear on the streets of Jerusalem, Commandoes cut Batman and the others free. It&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,47],"tags":[600,601],"class_list":["post-7561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-liberal-religion","category-pop-culture","tag-batman","tag-manasseh"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7561"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7561\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8203,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7561\/revisions\/8203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielharper.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}