Dan Harper | Sermons

Tag: Julia Ward Howe

  • Mother’s Peace Day

    Sermon copyright (c) 2023 Dan Harper. As delivered to First Parish in Cohasset. As usual, the sermon as delivered contained substantial improvisation.

    Readings

    The first reading was the “Mother’s Day Proclamation” by Julia Ward Howe:

    Arise, then, women of this day!

    Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

    “Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

    From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, “Disarm, disarm! The sword is not the balance of justice.” Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.

    As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each learning after his own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

    In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

    The second reading was from “Gitanjali 35” by Rabindranath Tagore:

    Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
    Where knowledge is free;
    Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
    Where words come out from the depth of truth;
    Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
    Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
    Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action
    Into that heaven of freedom… let my country awake.

    Sermon: “Mother’s Peace Day”

    It appears that the very first mention of Mother’s Day dates back to 1870. Julia Ward Howe, a Unitarian and author of the popular Civil War song “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” had grown horrified at the actual results of war. She was horrified by how many young men were killed or disabled by war, but she was also horrified by what war did to the moral character of those who fought. A mother herself, she wrote in her proclamation for Mother’s Peace Day: “Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.” Thus she issued her historic call for all mothers everywhere to come together in an international congress of women in order to promote world peace.

    After that initial proclamation of Mothers Peace Day in 1870, the idea of a day for mothers to take action together was forgotten until 1907. In that year, an Episcopalian laywoman named Anna Jarvis organized a worship service for mothers at her church in West Virginia. She did so in part to honor her own mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, who had been a peace activist who had worked with Julia Ward Howe, and had supported Howe’s original idea for a Mother’s Peace Day. So our modern Mother’s Day began with a worship service in 1907, which had been inspired by Julia Ward Howe’s original vision of Mother’s Peace Day.

    Since 1907, Mother’s Day has continued to evolve. By the mid-twentieth century, Mother’s Day was not centered on a church service. It had become a holiday that upheld a view of women then permeating American society: a woman was supposed to get married young, have lots of children, and subsume her identity in motherhood. This mid-twentieth century myth of motherhood ignored all the women who chose not to marry, or who were unable to have children, or didn’t become mothers for whatever reason. Unfortunately, when Mother’s Day became a day to uphold that old mid-twentieth century myth of motherhood, the original purpose of the day was forgotten. No longer were mothers actively taking control of the destiny of the world. Instead of mothers coming together as peace activists, mothers were supposed to be passive recipients of cards and flowers from their children and husbands. If they were lucky, mothers got taken out to lunch; at least then there was one less meal they had to cook and clean up after.

    During the second-wave feminist movement of the 1970s, some feminists began to criticize Mother’s Day: why should women be reduced to being mothers? Why couldn’t we value women for all their contributions to society? These were needed criticisms, helping society to understand that women could be more than stereotypical mothers. At the same time, it turned out that many feminists happened to like Mother’s Day. We liked the thought that there might be a special connection between a mother and the children to whom she had given birth. We liked giving cards or flowers to our mothers. We liked the thought of taking our mothers out to lunch — although in my family, my mother, being a thrifty New England Yankee, was resistant to buying lunch in a restaurant.

    In the twenty-first century, Mother’s Day continued to evolve and change. We began to re-evaluate the American myth of motherhood. We began to expand our understanding of what it meant to be a mother. We had already heard from women who had adopted their children, who had pointed out that their connection with their children was just as special as that of biological mothers. At the start of the twenty-first century, increasing numbers of same sex couples began having children, and male couples began to point out that they provided the mothering that their children wanted and needed. In the past decade, increasing numbers of transgender and non-binary people began having children, and they too have pointed out that mothering is not limited to just one gender.

    And in the past half century, we have also learned to adopt the the perspective of children when we think about motherhood. For some children, their fathers provide more mothering than their mothers. Some children have cold or distant parents, and get their mothering from people who are not their parents. There are of course a great many children who do get mothering from their biological or adoptive mothers, but we began to understand that those children can get mothering not just from their mothers, but from other people in their lives — fathers and aunts and older siblings and teachers and so on.

    We have expanded our understanding of motherhood, and this has come about in part because we have expanded our understanding of gender. It used to be that our society took it for granted that biological sex, gender identity, and gender role were all the same thing. Indeed, some conservative Christians still believe that if your biological sex is female then you are female, and many states in the South are passing laws that uphold this conservative Christian notion of sex gender. Many of those conservative Christians also believe that all women should be ruled by biological males, and should stay at home to raise children; these conservative Christians want to go back to that mid-twentieth century stereotype that the only appropriate role for a biological female is to be a mother.

    However, the rest of our society has come to understand that biological sex, gender identity, and gender role can be quite separate. For example — and this is an example that gets the most press these days — our society is coming to understand that there are transgender people whose biological sex happens to be different from their gender identity. But our society is also coming to accept that people can take on a gender role that is different from their biological sex or their gender identity. We are coming to understand that man can be nurturing and can even take on the role of mothering; we are coming to understand that people who do not have children of their own can take on the role of nurturing and mothering.

    We are slowly expanding our understanding motherhood to include a wider range of actual experiences. Of course we still celebrate biological females who give birth to new human beings. But now we can also celebrate those biological females who do not fit comfortably into the gender role of nurturing female, and we can also celebrate the biological males who take on the role of a nurturing mother. We can celebrate people of any gender identity, of any biological sex, who take on the gender role of mothering.

    This helps us to expand Julia Ward Howe’s original idea of Mother’s Peace Day. Howe knew that anyone who had been a mother would not want to send their child off to war. Anyone who had been a mother would not want to see their child killed or maimed or traumatized by the horrors of war. That is why she ended the original Mother’s Peace Day Proclamation with these words: “I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.” Howe’s idea is quite logical and straightforward: If she could just gather all the mothers of the world together in one great room, surely they could find a way to put an end to war. She was thinking about just those biological females who happened to have given birth, but why not include in that gathering all those who people who have filled some sort of mothering, nurturing role? The more people we can find who have filled a nurturing mothering role, the more people there are who will feel committed to ending war.

    This might include people who would never be called mothers. Take me, for example. I’m a biological male, my gender identity is male, I’ve never had children of my own. Yet I spent a couple of decades doing religious education, and in my own way I helped raise two or three generations of young people. And there are quite a few people like me, people who didn’t exactly do any mothering, but who wound up doing a lot of nurturing. When add together all the mothers with the non-mothers who did a lot of nurturing, that adds up to a great many people who have put a lot of effort into helping the next generation grow up. And we would all prefer it if the next generation were not killed or maimed or traumatized by war.

    I like to think that Julia Ward Howe would have welcomed no just women but nurturing people of all genders to her “general congress of women without limit of nationality.” I suspect Julia Ward Howe would have given the women and mothers the seats of honor in the front of the congress. But she would have welcomed anyone dedicated to keeping our children safe — people of all genders; teachers and social workers and doctors and anyone who nurtured others; aunts and uncles and cousins and older siblings and anyone who didn’t happen to have children of their own but helped raise and nurture children — anyone who has contributed to raising up the next generations. I think Julia Ward Howe would welcomed us all to her great congress.

    And to me, this remains the central meaning of Mother’s Day. Not that any of this should interfere with your traditional celebration of Mother’s Day. Do whatever it is that you usually do on Mother’s Day: call your mom, let your children take you out to lunch, take your spouse out to lunch, ignore the whole thing. I don’t mean any of this to interfere with your celebration of Mother’s Day, but perhaps the thought of Julia Ward howe and Mother’s Peace Day will add to your celebration. If we were all better at mothering, perhaps the world would be a better, more peaceful place. If our world leaders learned some mothering skills, if they allowed themselves to be more nurturing, perhaps we would have fewer wars. Maybe that’s too much to ask — it’s hard for me to imagine that Vladimir Putin knows what it is to nurture others. But what if he could change? What if he could become empathetic? What if he could forget his own egotistical ambitions and learn to how to selflessly nurture those people who are not as strong or powerful as he?

    What if all our world leaders learned how to be empathetic and nurturing? That is, what if all world leaders lived up to the late nineteenth century ideal of motherhood? What if Julia Ward Howe’s great congress of mothers had actually gathered, and had actually taken on real power? We can imagine that such a congress would have focused on how to nurture and raise the next generation. And if our governments were formed with the goal of nurturing and raising the next generation, perhaps we would finally put an end to war.

    Of course Julia Ward Howe’s great congress of mothers was not able to take control of world affairs in 1870. Given the rampant sexism of the time, it was too much to expect that a congress of mothers could in fact take over the world. Nor are the chances for a great congress of mothers much better in today’s world.

    That does not mean that we should lose all hope. We can start small. We can honor and support empathetic nurturing wherever we may find it. We can honor every person in our lives who nurtures others with empathy. There are people of all genders who nurture others with empathy. There are people of all ages who nurture others with empathy. Both parents and non-parents can be nurturing influences in the lives of others. We can honor all these people, and we can support them in their efforts to raise the next generation — to raise up a generation that in its turn will be more nurturing and empathetic than we are today. Perhaps one day, everyone will know the central skills of mothering — nurturing, empathy, and kindness.

    Until that time comes, may we continue to honor the mothers among us. Those of us who had empathetic nurturing mothers can honor their roles in our lives, and if our mothers are still alive we can send them a card or maybe even take them out to lunch. Those of us who have a spouse who is a mother can honor our spouse. All of us can remember and honor all those people in our lives who helped to nurture us.

    And so may I wish all the mothers among us a happy Mother’s Day. May you be honored for all you do, and all you have done. And in the spirit of the original Mother’s Peace Day, may your example of mothering be an inspiration to the rest of the world — so that together we may, in the words of Julia Ward Howe, “take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace.”

  • Why Not Us?

    This sermon was preached by Rev. Dan Harper to First Unitarian in New Bedford. As usual, the sermon below is a reading text. The actual sermon as preached contained ad libs, interjections, and other improvisation. Sermon and story copyright (c) 2005 Daniel Harper.

    Story

    If you’re a Unitarian Universalist kid, sometimes it can be hard to explain what a Unitarian Universalist is. Maybe you’re at school, and one of your friends says, “Do you go to a church or a synagogue, or anything?” And you say yes, you go to a church, and they say, “Which one?” and you say you’re a Unitarian Universalist, and they say, “What’s a Unitarian Universalist? What do you believe?”

    What do you say then?

    Adults have this problem, too. This is the way I imagine it for adults: you’re in one of the office buildings in downtown Providence, and you get on the elevator with someon who says, “I heard you say that you’re a Untiarian Unviersalist. What do you Unitarian Universalists believe, anyway?” And the doors close and the elevator starts to go down, and how do you explain Unitarian Universalism in ten seconds?

    Now sometimes I take the easy way out, and I don’t really explain when someone asks me, “What do Unitarian Universalists believe, anyway?” It’s kind of hard to explain what a Unitarian Universalist is, so I might just say, “Well, we can believe anything we want” — which isn’t true, but it’s the easy way out. Or I might say, “You know, Unitarian Universalist — it’s the big stone church just a few blocks up from the whaling muesum” — which doesn’t say what Unitarian Universalism is at all! — but it’s easier than trying to explain our religion.

    Well, you adults are on your own, but I have some ideas for what kids can say.

    If you’re a little kid, and someone asks you what a Unitarian Universalist is, you could say, “I’m a Unitarian Universalist, a church where people have open minds, loving hearts, and hands that are ready to help.” To help you remember, there are even little hand motions that go with it [show]. Now you try it with me: “I’m a Unitarian Universalist, a church where people have open minds, loving hearts, and hands that are ready to help.”

    If you’re a slightly older kid, I have a little saying that can help you remember what it means to be a Unitarian Unviersalist. It goes like this: “It’s a blessing we are born, and it matters what we do. What we know about God is a piece of the truth. We let the beauty we love, be what we do, And we don’t have to do it alone.”

    It’s a blessing we are born — that means each and every person is important — and it matters what we do. What we know about God is a piece of the truth — and one of the things some people know about God is that God doesn’t exist. We let the beauty we love, be what we do — in other words, we try to live a good life. And we don’t have to do it alone.

    Here, try saying it with me: It’s a blessing we are born, and it matters what we do. What we know about God is a piece of the truth. Let the beauty we love, be what we do. And we don’t ahve to do it alone.

    Now if you’re in middle school or high school, I recommend a different approach. When someone asks you, “What do Unitarian Unviersalists believe, anyway?” you can say, “We believe in asking good questions.” — then you turn it around on them, and ask, “And what do you believe?” And then everything they say, you can respond with another question — so if your friends says, for example, “I believe that Jesus is my lord and savior,” you then ask politely, “What do you mean by lord and savior?” It’s a great way to learn what your friends really believe about religion. And it’s a pretty accurate way of showing how we Unitarian Universalists ask each other lots of hard questions. Be warned, though — asking all those questions can be extremely annoying — if you’re not careful, you can really annoy your friends.

    One more time: little kids can say, “I’m a Unitarian Universalist, a church where people have open minds, loving hearts, and hands that are ready to help.” Older kids can say something like this: “It’s a blessing we are born, and it matters what we do. What we know about God is a piece of the truth. We let the beauty we love, be what we do, And we don’t have to do it alone.” And if you’re in middle school or high school, you can try saying: “We believe in asking good questions. And what do you believe?”

    Readings

    According to some people, it was Unitarian Julia Ward Howe who started Mother’s Day. Our first reading this morning is her original 1870 “Mother’s Day Proclamation.” I have to admit, it is not at all what I had expected, but here it is….

    “Arise then…women of this day! Arise, all women who have hearts! Whether your baptism be of water or of tears! Say firmly: ‘We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies, our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.’

    “From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own. It says: ‘Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.’ Blood does not wipe our dishonor, nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace… Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God — In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality, may be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient and the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”

    The second reading this morning is very short, and it comes from the Christian scripture attributed to the author named Matthew:

    “You are the light of the world…. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house.” [Matthew 5.14-15, New Revised Standard Version]

    Sermon

    That original Mother’s Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe really surprised me. My idea of Mother’s Day is that it is a day when we honor mothers. The stereotypical Mother’s Day celebration is that the kids get up early, overcook some eggs, burn some toast, and then bring breakfast in bed to their mom.

    And I know Mother’s Day has changed quite a bit just over the past few years. On the front page of Thursday’s Chicago Tribune, there was a story at the bottom of the page with the headline, “Nothing says “Love ya, Mom’ like a little Botox.” Here’s a little excerpt from the article: “Flowers, cards, and candy may not cut it this Mother’s Day — especially with hipper moms. ‘Moms themselves are changing,’ said Schuyler Brown, director of trendspotting for advertising agency Euro RSCG in New York…. ‘[Candy,] who needs it? I don’t put it in my house,’ said Zoe Mascio, a 48-year old mother and Botox fan in chicago. ‘And flowers, they die.’”

    Botox for Mother’s Day — who knew? Now remember, this is from the Chicago Tribune, and Chicago has the reputation of being ten years or so behind the trends of coastal cities like New York and Los Angeles.

    And the article goes on to report that total spending for Mother’s Day is expected to top $11 billion dollars this year. Average Mother’s Day spending has more than doubled this year, and the average person will spend US$104.63 this year. The six most popular categories of gifts for Mother’s Day: special meals, jewelry, flowers, gift certificates, clothing, and consumer electronics. Special meals alone are expected to total $2.2 billion dollars. Burnt toast and overcooked eggs are a little behind the times, I guess.

    But while I may be surprised by the total amount of spending on Mother’s Day this year, this is pretty much the Mother’s Day I expect. We are supposed to take care of mothers on Mother’s Day — pamper them, feed them special meals, buy them jewelry and dozen red roses and maybe some Botox, if that’s what they want.

    Julia Ward Howe had a surprisingly different idea for Mother’s Day. By the time she wrote her Mother’s Day proclamation, she had become involved in the Women’s Suffrage movement, working to gain women the right to vote. She had also become concerned at how vicious the Franco-Prussian War had gotten, and she began to think of ways to promote an international peace movement.

    “Arise, then, women of this day!” says Julia Ward Howe. “As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace…”

    Julia Ward Howe had undergone a real change in her character over her life. Born into a life of ease and comfort, she chose to marry Samuel Gridley Howe, a reformer who helped found the New England Institute of the Blind and other worthy causes. Samuel Gridley Howe wanted a wife who would help him in his reform work. When Julia published poems and articles, her husband was furious — he thought she was wasting her time, time that should be spent on their home and on his projects. But Julia found it difficult to tolerate her husband’s viewpoint, and she almost divorced him — it was only his threat to keep custody of her two youngest children that convinced her to stay in the marriage. She later said remaining in her marriage was one of the greatest sacrifices of her life.

    Throughout her difficult marriage, one of the things that kept her going was her church. She belonged to Theodore Parker’s huge Unitarian church in Boston, until Parker’s death in 1860. It was there that she got involved in the anti-slavery movement. After Theodore Parker died, she switched over to the Chruch of the Disciples, the Unitarian church led by James Freeman Clarke. It was Clarke who suggested to Julia that she write better lyrics to the tune of “John Brown’s Body,” which resulted in her most famous work — “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”

    I can’t help but believe that Julia Ward Howe was influenced by Theodore Parker. Theodore Parker was a Unitarian minister who fought tirelessly against slavery, even to the point of carrying a loaded pistol with him into the pulpit when threatened by violence from pro-slavery forces. Theodore Parker really lived his religious values in his day-to-day life — and he seems to have gotten those in his congregation to do the same.

    I’m not trying to talk anyone out of buying flowers, candy, or Botox for their mother this Mother’s Day. I’m not trying to talk anyone out of spending their full fair share of $104.63 on mom today. Because you know what, the advertisers are right — your mom is worth it.

    But in addition to honoring our mothers, it’s not a bad idea to remember the original purpose of Mother’s Day as Julia Ward Howe imagined it. Julia Ward Howe imagined a day when mothers would use their influence to change the world. Using a Biblical passage that I suspect she would ahve liked, I would say she imagined a day when mothers would step forth as the light of the world, when women would stop hiding their light under a bushel basket and shine their light from a lampstand where the whole world could see it.

    That’s not a bad path for all of us to follow. How often do we forget to live out our faith, because we are too busy spending the average amount of money that every Aemrican spends on consumer goods these days? How often do we neglect to live out our faith in the world, just because we get caught up in the daily tasks that sap our strength and convince us that we are not worthy of doing something grand?

    Theodore Parker was one of the great Unitarian ministers. He was a brilliant preacher by all reports, as well as a brilliant scholar. He was so good, his church had to meet in the Boston Music Hall, in order to accomodate the more than one thousdan people who worshipped each week. But I think there’s another reason his church grew so big. He seems to have inspired people in his congregation to live out their faith in the rest of their lives. Like Julia Ward Howe, Unitarians from Theodore Parker’s church lived out their faith in their daily lives. To these people, Unitarianism wasn’t just an exclusive clubhouse where they went once a week to see their firneds and make themselves feel good, Unitarianism was a life-changing faith — a world-changing faith.

    You may or may not agree with the way Julia Ward Howe lived out her Unitarian faith — you may or may not agree with Julia Ward Howe’s original Mother’s Day Proclamation. But instead of thinking about whether you agree with the specifics of what she has to say, perhaps you might think about it this way. Which do you prefer — Julia Ward Howe’s original idea for Mother’s Day, where mothers are supposed to be empowered to make the world a better place — or do you prefer what Mother’s Day has become, which is a day where Americans will spend a grand total of eleven billion dollars? — with the truly admirable goal of pleasing your own mother, but without really changing the world to make things better for all mothers everywhere.

    We can go to the mall and buy more stuff for our mothers — or we can do that, and try to make a difference in the world. We can see religion as a consumer commodity and our church as a place where we go to get our needs met and where we pay fees for services rendered — or we can take our religious principles out to a world that desparately needs them.

    You know, we can make a difference in the world. Why not? Why not us?

    Julia Ward Howe lived out her Unitarian religion in the world. Why not us? Why not live out our Unitarian Universalist faith in the wider community? Julia Ward Howe could have stayed a pampered socialite — could have bowed to the pressure of her husband and simply been his helpmate — could have stopped when she wrote “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and rested on her laurels — could have been just a plain mom who let her children take care of her and treat her nicely. But she didn’t. She worked for women’s right to vote, she worked to abolish slavery — as if she didn’t have enough to do, what with raising five children, and holding together a difficult marriage!

    Now Julia Ward Howe was an exceptional woman, and there aren’t many of us who could raise five children and do everything she did. I know I couldn’t! But Julia Ward Howe makes me believe I could do what she did. To use a trendy word, she empowers me to try to live out my faith.

    We could all try that together. We all know this church, First Unitarian of New Bedford, has to grow or die. We are not going to grow if all we do is the religious equivalent of buying $104.63 worth of flowers and candy for our mothers. We have to take the next step, and work alongside our mothers to live our faith, to change the world, so that the beauty we love becomes what we do.

    So — why not us? We could do this. Think about it.

    And in the mean time, if you’re planning on celebrating Mother’s Day, with flowers or candy or special meals or even Botox — may this be a wonderful day for you.