• Ethics of Housing

    Sermon copyright (c) 2025 Dan Harper. As delivered to First Parish in Cohasset. The text below has not been proofread. The sermon as delivered contained substantial improvisation.

    Readings

    The first reading was from the book Rough Sleepers by Tracey Kidder. This book tells the story of Dr. Jim O’Connell, who has provided medical care for Boston’s homeless people for four decades.

    The second reading, “Once the World Was Perfect,” a poem about hope for the future by Joy Harjo, is not included here due to copyright restrictions.

    Sermon

    This is another sermon topic that came from a question posed by people in this congregation during last year’s question-box service. Someone asked, “What can we do about the reality that there is so much injustice and inequality in the world while we are surrounded by such abundance?” This is such a big topic that I felt I had to split it up into a couple of different sermons. Earlier in the autumn, I spoke about White poverty. And today I’d like to talk about the ethics of housing.

    I’ll begin by considering some of the ethical questions that confront us in the present housing situation. Although housing is a political issue, I’m not going to make this a political sermon, but rather I’m going to sort through some of the ethical considerations that arise when we talking about housing and access to housing. As usual, I’m not going to make a grand pronouncement and tell you exactly how to solve the housing crisis we’re facing in our region — I don’t pretend to have answers when far better minds than mine have failed to solve the housing crisis. But I do feel that it’s helpful to sort through the ethical issues involved, and see if there’s a possibility of bridging the various divides in our society that seem to prevent us from making much progress in the housing crisis. And I’ll end with some thoughts about the spiritual and religious implications of the housing crisis.

    And before I begin looking at the ethics of housing, I should tell you my personal moral bias. Personally, I feel that everyone should have safe and affordable housing. But if we’re going to have an ethical discussion, I don’t want to focus on my personal moral feelings, I want to focus on broad values that can be held by a wide range of people in our society.

    Let’s start by reviewing the extent of the current housing crisis. First, if we look at homelessness, about three quarters of a million people in the United States are living on the street, in their car, in a shelter, or in transitional housing.(1) There are also a large number of people who are couch-surfing, that is, staying with friends and acquaintances but moving frequently “with no fixed address.”(2) I was unable to find much hard data on the number of couch surfers, but a 2017 study found that 20.5% of young adults aged 18 through 25 were couch surfers in the past twelve months.(3)

    Moving beyond people who are homeless, about 5.2 million households in the United States receive federal rental assistance (most of them are working families).(4) Perhaps another 10 million households were waiting for some form of government subsidized housing.(5) And close to half of all renter households live in so-called cost-burdened housing, where more than 30% of the household income goes towards rent(6) I was unable to find equivalent statistics for homeowners, but no doubt there are plenty of homeowners spending more than 30% of their income on housing costs.

    So much for statistics. Now let’s move on to some ethical considerations.

    First, do people have a right to housing? From a legal perspective, the answer is no. Attorney Maria Massimo summed it up neatly in the Boston College Law Review when she wrote, “In the United States, housing is treated as a commodity or investment, rather than as a human right.”(7) Yet if housing is not a legal right, should we nonetheless feel an ethical compulsion to provide housing to people who need it? On this question, our society is divided. One important strain of American ethical thinking asserts the importance of personal responsibility and self-reliance. Our very own Ralph Waldo Emerson, who spent eight years as a Unitarian minister before becoming a full-time writer, said, “It is only as a man puts off all foreign support, and stands alone, that I see him to be strong and to prevail.”(8) Another important strand of American ethical thinking asserts the importance of equal justice for all persons. John Haynes Holmes, another Unitarian minister as well as one of the cofounders of the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People), also placed a high value on personal responsibility; but, drawing on the Christian tradition, he preached that society had the responsibility to help the poor and downtrodden.

    There are of course other ethical strands that have shaped us, but these two seem especially important when considering the ethics of housing. Each of these two ethical strands has a very different understanding of the role of the individual in curing social ills.

    On the hand, the ethical strand that believes fighting evil is primarily the responsibility of an individual asserts that the best way to fight social evils is to assign primary responsibility to individuals. Today, this ethical stance tends to deplore government intervention in social problems, such as providing housing or food assistance, because of the belief that individuals, not impersonal social structures, are ultimately responsible for taking care of themselves.

    On the other hand, the ethical strand that believes fighting evil is primarily a battle to be fought at the level of social institutions asserts that the best way to fight social evils is to assign primary responsibility to the major institutions. Such institutions are presumed to have more power than mere individuals. Today, this ethical stance tends to advocate for using government and other large-scale institutions in solving social problems, such as providing housing or food assistance, because of the belief that individuals are not powerful enough in themselves to fight social evils.

    These two ethical stances perceive people who are homeless or cost-burdened by housing in two different ways. One ethical stance believes that if you’re homeless or cost-burdened, you have some personal flaw that has led to your housing problems. The other ethical stance believes that if you’re homeless or cost-burdened, it’s not your fault but the fault of impersonal forces outside your control. And given that American society is strongly influenced by American Christianity, sin and salvation tend to enter these ethical stances: either sinfulness is within you and within your power to do away with; or sinfulness comes from without and you need the help of others to cast it out.

    Now of course I’m oversimplifying things here. Both these ethical stances are more subtle and more nuanced than I’m making them out to be. Nevertheless, let’s take these oversimplified ethical stances and apply them to three real-life situations.

    The first case study comes from an actual homeless person I knew, although I’m obscuring personal details to preserve confidentiality. I was helping serve dinner at a homeless shelter a decade or so ago, and I got to know some of the guests. One of them was a personable and articulate middle-aged woman who was quite forthright in saying that she was homeless due to her alcohol addiction. She knew alcohol addiction was a disease. She knew about social inequalities. But she also knew that had the choice to go into recovery sooner, and if she had done so she could have kept herself from being homeless.

    The second case study also comes from an actual homeless person I met, and again I’ve changed some of the details to preserve confidentiality. A young man in his late twenties arrived at the homeless shelter in his car, and gave a little as I greeted him. He had grown up in an affluent suburb, gone to college, and gotten a good job. But he had been laid off at the same time as he faced unforeseen medical bills, and before he knew it he was living on the streets in his car. He had a job, but he couldn’t come up with the down payment for a new apartment, and even if he had that rents had gotten so high that he couldn’t afford them anyway. He knew he had made mistakes in his life (just as we all have), but on the whole nothing he had done should have pushed him into homelessness.

    The third case study concerns a family that I met, not in a homeless shelter, but through a social event. This family had made some less than ideal financial choices — the parents had not built up their savings when they could have, and they foolishly left good jobs just so they could move to a place they hadn’t adequately researched. Then when the parents’ new jobs didn’t pan out, they moved back to the major urban area where they had begun; one spouse and the children were able to move back in with the parent of that spouse — but there was no room for the other spouse, who wound up couch surfing. In this case, the family had made some poor choices, but their poor choices were not of a magnitude to send one of them into functional homelessness.

    From these three stories, we can see that’s it’s not a good idea to make blanket ethical judgements. We can’t make a blanket statement that homelessness can only result from poor personal choices; the second and third case studies show that it’s not always entirely the fault of the person concerned. We also can’t make a blanket statement that homelessness only results from societal forces; the first and third case studies show that sometimes we do have to take into account individual responsibility.

    Thus an ethics of housing has to be flexible enough to cover a wide range of actual cases. An inflexible pronouncement that housing problems are always the fault of the individual (but never the responsibility of society) is not very helpful. An inflexible pronouncement that housing problems are always the result of societal forces (but never the responsibility of the individual) is also not very helpful. I believe it might help us bridge some political divides in our country if we could adopt more flexibility in our ethical pronouncements.

    But ethics in a multicultural democratic society like ours must also take into account that different citizens can hold quite different views of the world. Now we’re starting to get into the realm of religion, because these different world views often correspond with different religious views. But here again, we have to let go of old stereotypes.

    Take, for example, the Christian worldview. The ethical stance that emphasizes personal responsibility may be held by progressive Christians in the tradition of Ralph Waldo Emerson, and also by conservative Christian evangelicals. The ethical stance that emphasizes protecting individuals from societal forces may be held by progressive Christians and Jews who emphasize community ties over individualism, and also by conservative Christians who feel called by their religion to care for the poor and to feed the hungry. It seems to me that Christian priorities depend a great deal on whether you prioritize Jesus’s commandment to love your neighbor as yourself, or whether you prioritize the parts of the Christian scriptures that tell you to take individual responsibility for gaining everlasting life.(9)

    We also find diverse ethical priorities among atheists. Some atheists emphasize survival of the fittest, with the thought that the human race will be stronger if we allow weaker humans to die off (I’m making this sound harsh, but it is a valid and defendable ethical stance). Other atheists emphasize that because there is no God, then we humans not only have the ability, we also have the responsibility to solve human-caused problems like poverty and hunger. And there are many other possible atheist ethical stances besides. Similarly, we find diverse ethical priorities among Buddhists. So-called “engaged Buddhists” apply Buddhist teachings to social and political issues. Other Buddhists prefer to focus on withdrawing from a chaotic world to seek enlightenment within oneself. And of course there are other possible Buddhist priorities as well.

    Often, people just assume that their ethical priorities are shared with everyone else. The progressive Christian who assumes that everyone believes in the Golden Rule is going to be frustrated by the atheists who believes that saving people from trouble goes against the principle of the survival of the fittest. The atheists who believes it’s up to humans to solve human-caused problems is going to be frustrated by Buddhists who turn away from the chaos of the world to seek enlightenment within. And so on.

    I would like to suggest that we Unitarian Universalists should be especially good at helping people look at their ethical assumptions, and helping people speak more openly about their ethical priorities. This should be one of our strengths, because this is the foundation of our own religion — we are always questioning things and examining our own assumptions. Furthermore, our communities often include people who have a fairly wide range of religious worldviews — First Parish, for example, includes Christians and Jews, Buddhists and atheists, Transcendentalists and existentialists and who knows what else. If you’re going to be part of a Unitarian Universalist community, you have to be able to cultivate an openness to other ways of thinking about the world, openness to other ways of being in the world. You might call this our hidden secret superpower.

    At this point, I’d like to return to the question that prompted this sermon: “What can we do about the reality that there is so much injustice and inequality in the world while we are surrounded by such abundance?” Here on the South Shore, we live surrounded by great abundance — abundance of beauty, abundance of community resources, abundance of financial wealth, and so on. Here on the South Shore, we also live surrounded by housing inequality: we have many cost-burdened renters, we have plenty of people living in subsidized housing,(10) we have lots of people who are couch-surfing, we even have a few people who are living in their cars or sleeping rough.

    We also live in a time of great polarization. It seems to me that we are especially polarized when it comes to housing. Here in Massachusetts, affordable housing proposals often prompt divisive and bitter political battles — witness, for example, the divisive battle going on right now in Milton, which voted not to comply with the state MBTA zoning law. Unfortunately, bitter and divisive political battles like these often serve to distract people from reaching goals we all share, such as making housing more affordable. Once we get involved in bitter and divisive politics, no one wins — everyone loses.

    So here’s my answer to the question “What can we do about the reality that there is so much injustice and inequality in the world while we are surrounded by such abundance?” — We can use our secret superpower of openness to other ways of thinking about the world to help bridge the divides that separate us. We can do this by showing our willingness to listen to other points of view, and to try to find common ground with people we don’t agree with. As people who believe that creeds or dogmas are limiting, we can show our willingness to think creatively, to think outside the box, working together with many different people to find ways of making housing more affordable, without relying on the usual partisan politics.

    I really can’t emphasize enough the power of our secret superpower of openness to other ways of thinking about the world. The political world of the United States is currently dominated by dogmatic thinking. And such dogmatism is not going well. It’s up to people like us to help out country move away from polarization, and move towards flexible, pragmatic thinking and action. This may not seem like much, but I actually feel it could be revolutionary — we can help our fellow citizens to listen to one another, to come together to solve the massive problems that face us, and begin building a land where all people are valued for who we are.

    In the words of poet Joy Harjo:

    A spark of kindness made a light.
    The light made an opening in the darkness.
    Everyone worked together to make a ladder.
    [One] person climbed out first into the next world,
    And then the other clans, the children of those clans, their children,
    And their children, all the way through time —
    To now, into this morning light to you.

    Notes

    (1) Part One of the “2024 Annual Homelessness Assessment Report” by the Office of Community Planning and Development of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development; this report is dated December, 2024, and offers a “point in time” snapshot of homelessness. https://www.huduser.gov/portal/sites/default/files/pdf/2024-AHAR-Part-1.pdf

    (2) “Hidden homelessness – the realities ‘couch surfing’,” 17 April 2019, VincentCare website https://www.vincentcare.org.au/news/latest-news/hidden-homelessness-the-realities-couch-surfing/

    (3) Study by Chapin Hall cited in Susanna Curry and Gina Miranda Samuels, “Youth Homelessness and Vulnerability: How Does Couch Surfing Fit?”, American Journal of Community Psychology, August 2017, DOI: 10.1002/ajcp.12156

    (4) Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, “United States Federal Rental Assistance Fact Sheet,” 23 January 2025, https://www.cbpp.org/research/housing/federal-rental-assistance-fact-sheets#US

    (5) “Housing Agency Waiting Lists and the Demand for Housing Assistance,” Public and Affordable Housing Research Corporation, February 2016, https://www.pahrc.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/spotlight-housing-agency-waiting-lists-and-the-demand-for-housing-assistance.pdf

    (6) “Nearly Half of Renter Households Are Cost-Burdened, Proportions Differ by Race,” September 12, 2024, Press Release Number: CB24-150 https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2024/renter-households-cost-burdened-race.html

    (7) Maria Massimo, “Housing as a Right in the United States,” Boston College Law Review, vol. 62:273, https://bclawreview.bc.edu/articles/76/files/639ad28b6069d.pdf

    (8) Emerson, “Self Reliance.”

    (9) See, e.g., John 3:16.

    (10) According to the most recent state report from the Executive Office of Housing and Livable Communities, here’s the percentage of Chapter 40B Subsidized Housing Inventory (SHI) as of September 30, 2025, for towns where First Parish members and friends live:
    Cohasset 10.38%
    Hanover 10.94%
    Hingham 10.33%
    Hull 1.66%
    Marshfield 10.31%
    Pembroke 8.78%
    Scituate 6.08%
    This report is online here: https://www.mass.gov/doc/subsidized-housing-inventory-2/download

  • Giving Thanks

    Sermon copyright (c) 2025 Dan Harper. As delivered to First Parish in Cohasset. The text below has not been proofread. The sermon as delivered contained substantial improvisation.

    Readings

    The first reading was the poem “Since You’ve come” by Jimmy Santiago Baca. This poem was selected for the Pushcart Prize in 1989. You can listen to the poet reading this copyrighted poem here: https://voca.arizona.edu/track/id/64026

    The second reading was an excerpt from the long poem “Life Doesn’t Frighten Me,” by Maya Angelou.

    Sermon

    The thanksgiving holiday is coming on Thursday. Which got me thinking: Why should I be thankful?

    If you follow the news, you can find many reasons to not be thankful. Internationally, our planet is in the middle of several major conflicts: here in the United States, we mostly hear about the Gaza/Israel war and the war in Ukraine, but if you dig deeper into the international news, you can find the war in Sudan where an estimated 150,000 people have died since April 2023, many of them in alleged genocide. Here in our own country, we have far too many national leaders who appear to be more interested in scoring partisan points than in actually governing. Then there’s the ongoing environmental crisis, ranging from climate change to invasive species to microplastics in our brains. And turning to the sports pages isn’t going to help all that much — the Celtics are losing as often as they’re winning, and (for those of you like me who only care about baseball) I’d rather not remember how the Red Sox yet again blew their post-season chances. Oh, and for those of you who follow cricket, we also don’t want to talk about England’s terrible batting in the Ashes Test with Australia.

    If you follow the news, you’re probably going to say: It’s just another horrible year. Everything is going wrong. Oh, sure, there are a few good things — the Patriots are having a great season (except I don’t follow football), the drought has ended in Massachusetts, and there’s a very fragile ceasefire in the Gaza/Israel war — and yet this last piece of good news shows that even the good news isn’t very good.

    But it’s not just the news that’s causing us to feel that we have nothing to be thankful for. Social media is also making us feel that way. On Wednesday, the Boston Globe published an article titled “With luxury always in our faces, it’s no wonder we’re feeling poor,” which reported on the ways social media makes us feel like we’re always falling behind. The article opened with a portrait of a 27 year old teacher named Chris Tringali who’s still living with his parents so he can save money to buy his own home. The article quoted Tringali as saying: “You go on social media and every weekend someone is getting married, someone is in Italy, or someone is in Europe, having all these milestones…. Meanwhile, I’m doomscrolling through all these big life moments for all these other people and I’m still living at home.”

    Tringali sounds like a great guy with a pretty amazing life — he has already paid off his student loans; he has parents who are willing and able to let him live at home; and as a teacher, he’s got the kind of job where he’s actually making the world a better place. Yet through social media he is forced to compare himself to people who appear to be leading a more lavish lifestyle than he is. The Globe article goes on to quote cognitive scientist Tali Sharot, the head of the Affective Brain Lab at MIT, who said that “the constant flood of high-end content ‘makes you believe that you are less than others.’”

    In other words, if you follow the news, you’re going to believe that we have little to be thankful for (aside from the Patriots who are having a winning season). In other words, if you spend any time at all on social media, you’re going to believe that you have little to be thankful for and furthermore that you are less worthy than those perfect people with lavish lifestyles who appear on your social media feed. And please don’t tell me to stop following the news; please don’t tell me to stop using social media. In a democracy, we actually do need to follow the news; and many of my friends and relatives only communicate via social media any more.

    So what can we do? I do not recommend spiraling into depression and withdrawing into some dark place inside ourselves. I’ve actually known people who have done that, and you probably have, too that; it is not a good solution to this problem, and if you’re feeling that way, please come talk to me and we’ll figure out how to get some professional help so you can climb up out of that rut.

    Without spiraling into depression, the rest of us can feel pretty strongly that the news is all bad, and that we are not as good as anyone on social media. While these are genuine feelings, we don’t have to be stuck with them. And I’m going to suggest an easy daily practice that has helped me get out of that feeling that the news is all bad and I’m a lesser being. This daily practice is quite simple: all you have to do is to give thanks for something. This practice probably gives the best results if you do it every day. But even if you do it once in a blue moon, it still can offer real relief.

    You don’t have to wait for something stupendous to happen before you give thanks. In fact, this practice works best if you give thanks for simple everyday things. I’ll give you an example. For lunch the other day, I took some leftovers and made myself a vegetable-salmon sir fry over rice. This was just an ordinary lunch; it was not photogenic, and not the kind of hyper-attractive meal that you photograph and post on your social media feed. But it tasted good, it was healthful, and it was satisfying. So after I ate lunch, I paused for a moment and said to myself, “I’m thankful for a lunch that made me feel good, that didn’t cost an arm and a leg, and that tasted pretty good.”

    I’ll give you another example of being thankful for something that I would never put on my social media feed. I have a friend in California who’s in recovery from alcoholism, and who has been sober for quite a few years now. Now that we no longer live in California, I don’t see this person very often, but when I do see them, I’m thankful for their dedication to the twelve-step program that helps keep them sober. I’m giving you this example of thankfulness for a couple of reasons. First, thankfulness doesn’t have to remain focused on oneself; of course we can be thankful for the good health and well-being of friends and family. Second, thankfulness doesn’t have to be all about rainbows and sunsets and mystical magical poetical happenings (although those are nice, too); thankfulness can be simple, down-to-earth, prosaic, and practical.

    When you start giving thanks for ordinary, everyday things and events, you begin to realize that actually life presents us with a great deal to be thankful for. The poet Ross Gay wrote a long poem titled “Catalog for Unabashed Gratitude” which is a long poetic list of simple things he’s thankful for: a robin outside his window; spreading rotting compost which (although it stank) would help fertilize a community garden; a friend who didn’t smoke meth with his mother; bees in a bee hive; a friend who survived suicide; for the love of family; the men he saw helping an elderly woman after she fell on the city street; winning a pick-up basketball game; and many more ordinary things for which he’s thankful. At the end of this long poem, Ross Gay apologizes for being so long-winded, and he concludes by saying:

    The perfect ending to a long poem on thankfulness: Say thank you, every day.

    Ross Gay does not tell us to whom he offers his thanks. Nor do I plan to tell you to whom you should offer your thanks. You should thank whomever you want to thank. Maybe you want to thank God or Goddess, Adonai or the Dharma, Allah or the Spirit of Life, or maybe you’re thankful without feeling the need to direct your thanks to any particular subject or object. Personally, I just offer my thanks without worrying too much about to whom, or to what, I’m offering those thanks; I simply toss my thanks out to the universe.

    What Ross Gay does tell us is that giving thanks is much the same thing as “loving / what every second goes away.” Every single thing in life is transitory, which means that the good things in life are also transitory. What is bad in life will eventually end or pass away; by the same token, the good things in life also must come to an end or pass away. As we give thanks for that which is good, it is already passing away. (That vegetable stir fry I made for lunch? — it has long since been eaten.) And so Ross Gay ends his “Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude” by reminding us to give thanks every day. It doesn’t matter to whom you give thanks (if anyone); but you should do it every day.

    Give thanks even as what you are thankful for is passing away. This Thursday we have an official governmental holiday in which we are called upon to give thanks. But the point here is that we shouldn’t wait until the Thanksgiving holiday to give thanks; we should give thanks every day.

    Since the Thanksgiving holiday takes place this week, let’s talk a bit about that holiday. Part of the current mythology of Thanksgiving is that it has something to do with the Pilgrims and the Indians. Even though historians tell us that when Thanksgiving first became an official government holiday the Indians and Pilgrims were not mentioned, I still like to think about them at Thanksgiving time. And I sometimes like to imagine what the English settlers and the Wampanoag gave thanks for, and to whom they extended their thanks, when they gathered to celebrate together on that autumn day back in 1621.

    Perhaps the Wampanoag gave thanks for surviving the pandemic in which perhaps three quarters their people had died just a couple of years previously; perhaps they Wampanoag gave thanks for these new military allies, the Pilgrims, whom they hoped would help them keep the Narragansett Indians from invading their country. Perhaps the English settlers gave thanks that they had survived that first winter in which perhaps half their people had died; perhaps they too gave thanks for these new military allies whom they hoped would help keep them safe. In other words, in my imagination, both the Wampanoag and the English gave thanks for simple survival; they gave thanks for the simple but profound fact that they were still alive.

    To whom did they offer their thanks? Those of the English settlers who were Pilgrims gave thanks to the orthodox Pilgrim version of God. But not all the English settlers were part of that religious group, including some of the military leaders and some of the indentured servants, and those people might have given thanks in their hearts to some less orthodox version of God, or even to older folk deities who have been lost to time. As for the Indians, although today’s Mashpee Wampanoag have stories about their culture heroes Moshup and Granny Squannit, it’s hard to know now exactly to whom seventeenth century Wampanoag gave thanks. Maybe it was culture heroes like Moshup and Granny Squannit. Maybe it’s not important to know to whom they gave thanks; what’s important is that they gave thanks.

    I also like to imagine what would have happened if there had been a 24 hour news cycle and social media in 1621, at that first mythical Thanksgiving dinner. Here’s the way it appears in my imagination. The English and the Wampanoag would have spent the meal doomscrolling through all the bad news of their day — Narragansett Indians rumored to be on war footing! Established church in England speaks out against the Separatists in Plymouth Colony! The city of Riga falls in the Polish Swedish War prompting a major humanitarian crisis! After doomscrolling the bad news, they would have turned to their social media accounts, which would have given them FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) when they saw the photographs of the lavish meals served in the comfortable aristocratic houses of England, and the lavish meals of the Narragansett Indians (remember, the Narragansetts hadn’t been decimated by the plague of 1619) lying around in their comfortable wetu, or dwelling; both the English and the Wampanoag would see all these lavish meals on 17th century social media, making them all too aware of how inadequate their own Thanksgiving dinner was. In my imagination, between the doomscrolling and social media FOMO, the Wampanoag and the English would have decided they had nothing to be thankful for, and the Thanksgiving holiday would have died before it even got started.

    At least, that’s what happened according to my hyperactive imagination. But there was one key difference between the seventeenth century and our own time. Both the English and the Wampanoags had the habit of giving thanks in spite of adverse circumstances, a habit which many of us today have forgotten or neglected. They gave thanks for what they had, even in the face of catastrophes like a pandemic that killed more than three quarters of all Wampanoag, or a brutal winter that killed more than half of all English settlers. Perhaps we can learn from their example. For those of us who forget to give thanks, perhaps we can start giving thanks for something each day. For those of you who never lost the habit of giving thanks, perhaps you could be more public about your habit of thankfulness to help the rest of us. We can support each other in the habit of giving thanks at least once a day. We can give thanks for the baby that disturbs our sleep, because we have never loved anything more than that baby. We can give thanks for friends and family who alive and still with us, and we can give thanks for the memories of the friends and family who have died. We can give thanks for the astonishing beauty of the world around us; we can give thanks for the simple fact that we can draw breath. We can give thanks for the simple food we eat — without feeling the need to post it on social media.

    Doomscrolling and social media show us what we lack, and that makes us fearful. Giving thanks shows us what we have, and makes us stronger. Giving thanks give us strength. We have the love of friends and family. We have the necessities of life, most of the time. We live in a world filled with beauty. And while it is true that all these things are transitory, yet even so, when we give thanks for what we have, we gain something permanent even from that which is transitory.

  • Age Discrimination and the Wisdom of Elders

    Sermon copyright (c) 2025 Dan Harper. As delivered to First Parish in Cohasset. The text below has not been proofread. The sermon as delivered contained substantial improvisation.

    Readings

    The first reading is from a June, 2020, article on the Psychology Today website titled “The Wisdom of Elders,” by Paul Stoller. Dr. Stoller is professor of anthropology at West Chester University of Pennsylvania.

    [Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-path-well-being/202006/the-wisdom-elders]

    The second reading is from No Stone Unturned: The Life and Times of Maggie Kuhn, the 1991 autobiography of Maggie Kuhn. In 1970, when she was 65, Maggie Kuhn found the Gray Panthers organization to fight age discrimination.

    The third very short reading is a contemporary Nigerian proverb:

    Sermon

    A number of people from the congregation have asked me to talk about age discrimination. This morning I’d like to talk with you about some ethical and religious dimensions to age discrimination. And I’d like to begin by telling you a story.

    Some years ago, my cousin went to Kenya for her job, and spent two years living there with her husband and daughter. As a stay-at-home dad, her husband wound up doing a fair amount of driving. It’s important to know that his hair had gone gray early on, and at the time of the story was all gray. Now by his account, it sounded to me as though Kenyan drivers were even worse than Boston drivers. Not only that, but they have rotaries in Kenya, just as in Boston, which sounded to me like rotaries in the bad old days of Boston driving: complete free-for-alls where no one paid any attention to right-of-way rules.

    In any case, the story goes like this: My cousin’s husband was driving on a Kenyan rotary, taking their daughter somewhere or other, when he got into a collision with a truck. Both drivers had gotten out of their vehicles when a police officer drove up. The police officer asked what had happened. The truck driver, who was Kenyan, gave his account of the collision, saying that my cousin’s husband was entirely to blame. My cousin’s husband then gave his account of the collision, but with a sinking feeling that the police officer was going to believe the truck driver. The police officer listened to both stories, then said to the truck driver, “I believe him [pointing to my cousin’s husband’s white hair] because he’s an elder.”

    This story shows that other cultures have other attitudes towards elders; our current American attitudes towards elders are not the only possible attitudes. Had my cousin’s husband gotten into a traffic accident in one of the rotaries around Boston, he would not have been given the benefit of the doubt because of his age. In American culture, rather than treating elders with respect, we are more likely patronize or condescend to elders. This can serve as a very basic definition of age discrimination in our society today: age discrimination is the widely-held belief that elders are always less able, and less capable, than middle aged and young adults, and more prone to error.

    It is not clear to me where this strange belief comes from. Judaism and Christianity, the root sources of many of the ethical values in our society, both teach respect for elders. In the Hebrew Bible, Proverbs 16:31 tells us “Grey hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” One of the commandments that God gives to Israel, as told in Leviticus 19:32, says this: “You shall rise before the aged, and defer to the old.” Yet our American culture tends to pass lightly over the commandments given by God from the book of Leviticus, instead focusing on God’s commandments as stated in chapter 20 of the book of Exodus, where it only says, “Honor thy father and mother.” Thus as is true of most cultures around the world, American culture picks and choose which aspects of its religious heritage that it prefers to follow. And on the whole, American culture chooses to emphasize two different interpretations of our religious heritage. On the one hand, there is the strand of American culture that teaches submission to authority — where children submit to parents, wives submit to husbands, and the populace submits to the rulers. On the other hand, there is the strand of American culture that teaches equality between all people, as epitomized in Leviticus 19:18, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” words later repeated by Jesus of Nazareth. Yet neither of these strands of American culture teaches respect for elders; you are not going to find anyone saying that we should post Proverbs 16:31 in all school classrooms.

    From this, you can see that American culture tends to ignore its core religious teachings about respect for elders. Are there then any widely-held ethical principles in our American culture which can offer us guidance regarding age discrimination?

    Many Americans no longer rely on religion, but instead turn to science to provide justification for their ethical judgements. And beginning in the late nineteenth, Social Darwinism purported to offer ethical guidance, based on science, on how to structure society and social relations. Social Darwinists took Charles Darwin’s evolutionary theory of the survival of the fittest and applied it to human society.

    This held true across the political spectrum; Peter Dobkin Hall of the School of Public Affairs at City College of New York writes that Social Darwinism “served the purposes of both liberals and conservatives.” Political conservatives argued that giving aid to poor people only served to destroy their work ethic; Peter Hall quotes an 1874 report on pauperism in New York City which argued “The public example of alms induce many to be paupers who were never so before.” Political liberals also became Social Darwinists, though with a different emphasis. Peter Hall writes that while “conservatives emphasized the role of nature — competition, natural selection, and heredity — in shaping evolution, liberals stressed the role of nurture — humanity’s ability to manipulate the environment to foster evolutionary progress.”(1) Thus, Social Darwinism prompted Americans across the political spectrum to appeal to scientific data to justify their proposed solutions to social and economic problems, including how to treat elders.

    These Social Darwinist arguments remain powerful in the twenty-first century. In the first reading, we heard an example of the Social Darwinist thinking as applied by a political conservative to the COVID-19 pandemic. In late March of 2020, a week or so into the COVID pandemic, Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick, then age 69, argued that elders like himself should be willing to take a risk with their health in order to keep businesses open and the economy going. Faced with mandatory shut-downs, Patrick said, “Those of us who are 70 plus, we’ll take care of ourselves.” He went on to add, “No one reached out to me and said, ‘As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that America loves for its children and grandchildren?’ [But] if that is the exchange, I’m all in.” This is classic Social Darwinist thinking, which begins with economic data, then applies a survival of the fittest theory to social policy, with the ultimate goal of making a stronger society.

    The second reading exemplifies the way political liberals have used Social Darwinism. Maggie Kuhn, founder of the Gray Panthers, argued that there could be plenty of money to fund benefits for elders — this could be accomplished by changing social policy to prioritize elder benefits over military hardware, such as expensive warships and airplanes. More to the point, Kuhn believed that society would be stronger if we adopted policies to eliminate poverty among elders. This again is classic Social Darwinist thinking, which begins with sociological data, then argues that humanity can manipulate the environment to create evolutionary progress in our society.

    Today, in the twenty-first century, Social Darwinism continues to dominate American thinking on social questions like about how to treat elders. We never see appeals to religious texts like Proverbs 16:31. Both political conservatives and political liberals, good Social Darwinists as they are, argue that our policies regarding elders should be guided by the data collected by social scientists — economists, sociologists, and so on. The problem is that the liberals and the conservatives use scientific data to come up with opposing solutions to the same problem.

    So traditional American religion fails to give adequate guidance on how to treat elders, and appeals to scientific data wind up giving us contradictory advice. Perhaps there are other sources of ethical or religious guidance that would be more helpful. Since this is a Unitarian Universalist congregation, let’s take a look at how our Unitarian Universalist worldview might offer us more secure guidance on how we should treat elders.

    First of all, as Unitarian Universalists, we place a great emphasis on individual human beings. The old Universalists spoke of the supreme worth of every human personality. Among the Unitarians, people like Emerson and Thoreau found infinite universes within each human personality. In the late twentieth century, Unitarian Universalists encapsulated both these old teaching in the phrase “respect for the inherent worthiness and dignity of each person.” (As a parenthetical note, many other religious groups say similar things. Some liberal Quakers, for example, like to say that there is that of God in each person; we might argue with them about what they mean by God, and whether the God they talk about is something we can believe in; but we can see that they are saying much the same thing that the old Universalists said, and that Emerson and Thoreau said: each one of us has something of supreme worth within us.)

    If we truly affirm the supreme worth of every human personality, then this gives us a starting point to understand why age discrimination is bad. Let’s return for a moment to Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick. If he makes the personal choice that he’s willing to die of COVID for the sake of the younger generation, then we can respect his individual choice, and we can even celebrate his willingness to put his personal duty to humanity over his own individual survival. However, if he makes this statement as a public official in such a way that it can be understood to encourage others to make the same sacrifice, and further it he seems to encourage public policies that may force other elders to make the same choice he wants to make, then we can challenge him on ethical grounds. Because we value the supreme worth of every human personality, we recognize that each person is going to have slightly different priorities. Some people in Dan Patrick’s age cohort might have been be pleased to follow his example, but others might have had ethically sound reasons for preferring social policies giving them a better chance of surviving COVID. Think, for example, of a 69 year old grandparent who had sole custody of their eight-year old grandchild: in our view, that grandparent would have had a valid reason to want government policies that would help them survive COVID, so they could continue to care for their grandchild. Or, for a more Emersonian example, think of a 69 year old novelist who is the midst of writing a great novel; perhaps they should not be forced to follow Dan Patrick’s example, and risk their life before their novel is complete. If I truly believe in the supreme worth of every human personality, then I’m going to be cautious about public policies that put large groups of individual human personalities at risk of extinction, just because they happen to be part of some group or other.

    By now you can see that this principle can be easily applied to the issue of age discrimination. Once we affirm the supreme worth of every human personality, it becomes obvious that this is true regardless of age. A newborn baby’s personality is supremely worthy, as is that of a teenager — and we hold the personality of a middle-aged adult to be equally worthy as that of an elder. It doesn’t matter what age a person is; no matter what their age, we find an inherent worthiness in every human personality. From this basic principle we can generate a more pragmatic ethical statement to help guide our actions. The book of Leviticus phrased offers just such a pragmatic ethical statement: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

    Admittedly, this is still a fairly general statement. But how might this general statement be applied to the specific situation of society’s treatment of elders? A partial answer to that question can be found in the Gray Panther organization. Maggie Kuhn founded the Gray Panthers specifically to combat age discrimination. So let’s take a look at what the Gray Panthers do.

    Today, the most active Gray Panthers chapter is the New York City chapter. The New York City Gray Panthers engage in a wide range of actions to help end age discrimination. At one extreme, they carry out very simple, hands-on, one-to-one actions, such as their nursing home card project, called “Caring by Card.” The New York City Gray Panther website describes this project as follows: “Nursing homes are sad and lonely places to live, with very little personal freedom for residents. People living in nursing homes all too often feel forgotten. Will you join us in lifting up our elderly friends by reminding them that they deeply matter and are loved? Will you join us in sending handmade cards to a nursing home…?” To put it in larger context, the “Caring by Card” project addresses the social situation which forces us to put some elders into bleak nursing homes — not through data-driven social science interventions — not through appeals to religious scripture — but through the one-on-one human action of sending a handmade card to someone living in a nursing home.

    At the other end of their range of actions, the New York Gray City Panthers work on wide-ranging global policy initiatives. They have “consultative status” with the United Nations, and have consulted on policy issues ranging from the international rights of older persons, to the status of older women.

    And then, somewhere in the middle of their range of actions, the New York Gray City Panthers host monthly educational webinar series. At these, they invite scholars and policy makers to speak on emerging topics of concern. In October, they had a speaker on the future of health care at the Veteran’s Administration; in September they hosted a panel discussion titled “The Power of Age-Diversity in Dismantling Ageism.”

    For me, the signature initiative of the Gray Panthers is the way they have consistently taught that elders must work with youth to combat ageism. Maggie Kuhn called this “youth and age in action.” When I was eighteen years old, I heard Maggie Kuhn talk about this principle. I had become a committed pacifist under the influence of my Unitarian Universalist minister, and I was at a rally in support of stronger nuclear weapons treaties. Maggie Kuhn spoke at that rally, and made the point that young people and elders are natural allies to work together on things like limiting nuclear weapons — youth and elders have more time and a greater willingness to tackle difficult issues like world peace. She was making another related point at the same time — the best way for elders to tackle age discrimination was to build working alliances with younger people, and to work with them on problems of mutual concern. In the second reading this morning, she clearly articulated this principle: “I feel strongly that the old must not simply advocate on their own behalf. We must act as elders of the tribe, looking out for the best interests of the future and preserving the precious compact between the generations.”

    This is perhaps the best solution to the age discrimination problem. Those of us who are elders (which includes me, as I’m now officially classed as an elder) — we can follow Maggie Kuhn’s advice and reach out to younger people, we can work together with youth on projects of mutual concern. By acting as elders of the tribe, we can become more open to the possibility of working with younger people.

    Indeed, many of us in this congregation are already doing this kind of collaborative work across the generations. I know of elders from our congregation who work with younger people on a wide range of topics: empowering women; supporting food banks such as End Hunger New England; advocating for world peace; supporting the arts; and so on. And within our own congregation, we model how intergenerational collaboration can work in the way we govern ourselves: our Religious Education committee includes a teenager, middle-aged adults, and an elder; the same is true of our governing board.

    Obviously, none of this will magically end age discrimination. But it shows us a good way to begin to end age discrimination. And by working together across the generations, we can live out one of our core ethical and religious teachings — that we value the supreme worth of every human personality. Or, more succinctly, to paraphrase the Hebrew Bible, we aim to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

    Note

    (1) Peter Dobkin Hall, “Social Darwinism and the poor,” Social Welfare History Project, Virginia Commonwealth University, 2014, https://socialwelfare.library.vcu.edu/issues/social-darwinism-poor/ accessed 8 Nov. 2025.