‘Tis the season to hate Christmas, and your pal Mr. Crankypants is right out there in front of the crowd of Christmas-haters. The two different stories you can read in Matthew and Luke are just fine (though it does irk Mr. C. that Christmas-lovers continually get their angels mixed up with their magi, and their basic Christmas holiday mixed up with their Epiphany holiday). The consumerist Christmas, on the other hand, has no redeeming value, unless you’re a retailer with a heart of black ink.
Into the Christmas consumerist fray steps a brave economist, Professor Joel Waldfogel of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. In his book Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn’t Give Presents for the Holidays, Waldfogel “looks at decades of retail spending data to make the case that buying gifts destroys wealth and happiness — and in many cases it would be better to not buy presents for the holidays at all. So put down that credit card and think before you use money you don’t have to buy things that recipients don’t really want.”
Now, repeat after Mr. Crankypants: “Bah! humbug! Christmas humbug!”
Thanks to Carol for the tip!
How about if we like parts of Christmas, in its popular culture incarnation, things like the lights, the store window displays, caroling, eggnog, parties, lights, trees, decorations, stockings filled with treats for dogs. You know, things we like. And then we can go ahead and loathe the rest of it happily, and NOT go into an overspending frenzy, nor a frantic rush to send out cards to people we never see, nor wear appliqued sweatshirts with dopey sentiments in big red type. Would that be okay, Mr. Crankypants?
And if we have saved some money for a few gifts is it okay to give & receive? Or is it all or nothing?
Am not really arguing with your point of view but we are able to ignore all the consumer-crap and keep it all simple & meaningful.
We love the fellowship that comes with Christmas!
One could call for a return of the Advent fast, no parties or feasting until the actual 12 days of Christmas.
maybe you should just embrace Chalica?
Jean @ 1 — No, you must loathe all Christmas. Mr. Crankypants has spoken.
MIME @ 2 — Mr. Crankypants is afraid that you are too nice to be a real Scrooge. Why, you might be one of those well-adjusted people who can cut down on consumerism and still like Christmas!
Erp @ 3 — Oo, Mr. Crankypants likes the idea of self-denial and making life unpleasant.
Ms. M. @ 4 — Mr. Crankypants doesn’t think so.
Dear Mr. Crankypants,
Jean told me about your bah humbugness and I have a solution for your misery:
YOU NEED TO BE MORE LIKE A DOG:
1. YOU NEED TO PLAY FETCH EVERY SINGLE DAY
2. YOU NEED TO GO ON WALKS AND SMELL EVERYTHING AND LOOK AT EVERYTHING AND BE REALLY REALLY HAPPY TO BE ALIVE
3. YOU MIGHT NEED TO THINK ABOUT CHEWING RAWHIDE TWISTS ON A REGULAR BASIS.
4. RECEIVE DAILY BELLY RUBS. Need I say more?
5. RID THE WORLD OF SQUIRRELS. it’s important, trust me
6. SLEEP A LOT
7. WAKE UP EVERY DAY FANTASTICALLY HAPPY
8. LICK YOUR OWN BUM okay, well, that IS what dogs do, and you never know, it might help
9. WHEN YOU SLEEP, RUN IN YOUR DREAMS burns off excess grouchiness
10. BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS, ELVES, FLYING REINDEER they always always bring good treats. trust me on that one
I think you will like being a dog. I do. A LOT!
Love, Me, Owen the dog
Owen @ 6 — Mr. Crankypants has been abducted by elves. I suggest that you send these suggestions along to the elves (try: elves @ northpole . arc ).